It has been a week now since I got promoted. How does it feel?
When it came through, at that very moment, I was happy. Or at least that is what I thought then. A barrage of accolades came my way. Matt bought me some champagne.
It is a good thing that the team unanimously thinks that I deserved my promotion. They have seen how hard I worked for this. I still have 23 days of annual leave left this year. I didn’t take much time off. I wanted to get here. As fast as possible.
It is just that that feeling of success didn’t last as long as I had thought it would. Yesterday, I bumped into Richard at Ten Bells. You remember Richard? The colleague who shifted firms last year? Even he was promoted this month. He told me about his new book – a practical handbook that helps people achieve financial freedom. I looked up that book last night; it has received great feedback.
Standing in front of Richard, at that moment, I felt inadequate. My promotion seemed so insignificant in comparison to his achievement. I woke up this morning, and I was frustrated with myself for not having a plan for the next five years. I again feel inclined to push myself harder. I see all that I still need to achieve. I still feel the need to prove myself. Everyday. It is like a series of never ending sprints.
This evening, I came back home to emptiness. Sarah and I have barely seen each other in the last few months. She is in Dorset, spending time with her parents. I only got a phone call from her, congratulating me on the day of my promotion. Should I worry?
What I worry about most is that tonight, I will still fall asleep thinking, what next.
This post is authored by Nikki S, a London based aspiring author. If you would like to get in touch with Nikki S, please drop a line at firstname.lastname@example.org